we live in a big world. one so enormous, you could spend your whole life exploring its endless corners and cultures. sometimes, my adventurous soul fears it will never see enough! and it probably won't. but somehow, when I got pregnant, this enormous, bigger than life world- the same one I feared was far too big to conquer with all my curiosity... shrunk. really really really small. the world shrunk so small that news of my surprise baby on the way, traveled all the way around and back in what seemed like seconds! and picked up some real exciting details along the way!
gossip is something i've never quite understood, and don't ever want to. who feeds it, and who craves it- I have no idea. but i do know that it is an untamable beast and one that can be quite vicious too.
i live in a small house on top of a hill- or at least on the almost top of a hill. it's made of brick and has a charming bay window and hardwood floors that i love coming home to after a long day of work. which is pretty much what i do. there may be an occasional dinner with friends, furniture shopping, or my new birthing class in between but i can assure to all those who are curious- my life is not nearly as exciting as all those dirty extras our story has picked up along it's way from being passed from ear to ear.
and that's the way i like it. just me and my babe hanging out in this house, that still kinda echoes with unfilled space, eating my latest craving and reading a something-to-do-with-baby book.
yesterday marked the end of the first week of my last trimester. baby had a serious case of the hiccups and i had a craving for pretzels and raspberries dipped in nutella. and that will go down as the perfect celebration for the two of us winning our very first prize together in birthing class. we're quite the team ya know. and we're gonna make it. i have a feeling we're going to make it all the way around the world, us two. parts of the world even our story hasn't made it.
You are amazing. :)
ReplyDeleteAubrey, props to you for working this out. Since I read your first post I've been trying to put into words the emotions it evoked. I recently got married and soon after got pregnant and it has been happy and hard. Your story made me think about how grateful I am to have my husband by my side during this pregnancy. It made me grateful for the plan and the commandments taught by the gospel. At the same time I'm overwhelmed by this idea of choices. I don't know what choices you made or didn't make that led to the baby you clearly love so much already. What really impresses me is the choices you've made since then. Your choice to pray. Your choice to raise this child rather than abort. Your choice to be happy in less than ideal circumstances. Your choice to use the power of Christ to make it whole and make it right. So props to you for doing this hard thing and doing it with grace. I have no idea how hard it is, but I know it must be harder and more complex than my own pregnancy, which has been fairly hard. You and your little one have been on my mind. I admire your courage and your ability to move forward. All the best.
ReplyDeleteIts amazing how much you can love a tiny baby before its even born, you guys will make the best little team
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